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Hi, I'm Jim Carrey and I'm getting
way too old for this shit. |
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This movie is basically the same premise as Liar
Liar, in which I'm prohibited from responding to situations in a
certain way, prompting me to make lots of ridiculous expressions and
noises. |
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Jim Carrey, you are depressed and frustrated. The
only way to improve your life is to do whatever anybody tells, asks, or
merely suggests that you do, no matter who they are or what they are
suggesting. Also I'm going to put a jinx on you so that if you ever
exercise free will again, terrible things will happen. |
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Why, that isn't fucking retarded at all!
Aboogaboogabooga zing zing ziiiiiiiiiiiing fip fip mreeeeeeeh!!!
Mreeeeeeeeh!!! Zooga booga. |
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I'm quirky, large-eyed geek favourite Zooey
Deschanel. I represent the wild, free youth that Jim Carrey never
allowed himself to have. Look at me with my alternative indy rock band,
quirky hobbies and unusual mode of transportation. Basically, I'm Juno,
a
decade later. Hamburger phone! |
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Here are some more films from Warner Bros.
Studios that you might be interested in purchasing, available now on
DVD and Blu-Ray. |
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Ahahaha, I was just forced to give away all of my
money, go on a drunken bender, get beaten up by some guy, marry an
Iranian mail-order bride and have sex with an old woman. My life is
improving already. |
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Jim Carrey, I'm in love with you. There's nothing
we hip, youthful indy chicks love more than a sarcastic, hyperactive,
emotionally-distant man-child who is pushing fifty and aging terribly. |
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I will respond with a series of wacky faces and
zippy-zip noises and a some terrible deflective one-liners that you
will find hilarious. |
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Would you like to try a refreshing Red Bull
energy drink? |
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Oh no, a moral dilemma! My ex-wife wants to have
sex with me, but I am in a relationship with Zooey Deschanel, not to
mention the fact that I'm also betrothed to an Iranian stranger, and
sex-slave to my elderly neighbour. How can I maintain a monogomous
relationship with the enormous amount of casual sex that I'm being
offered? Help me, Terence Stamp! |
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Dude, I don't understand the problem. Just bone
Zooey. |
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But you told me that I'm supposed to do whatever
anyone wants me to do, no matter who they are or what they are
suggesting. |
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That is not what I said at all. |
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As a side-note, do you think it is really wise in
the current economic climate for you to suggest that banks should give
out loans to anyone who asks for them, no matter who they are or how
much they want? |
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